Review: Piranha 3D

Went and saw Piranha 3D yesterday afternoon high on junior mints and sour patch kids.

The film is directed by my favorite modern horror director Alexandre Aja. If you haven't seen his film High Tension stop reading this review and go see it. Its so intense and well shot, superb horror. The film stars Marty McFly's girlfriend, Tom Cruises black friend, some kid, Will Ferrell's mean brother Derek, Matt Hooper, a pornstar, and mutha fuckin Doc Brown!


What a movie this was. As stated in interviews with Aja during the films development and leading up to its release he wanted to make a film he would want to see as a 13 year old kid. The kind of movie you're parents wouldn't want you to see. The kind of movie you would have to sneak into the theatre or get your older sibling to buy you tickets to see. The kind of movie you rent from the video store and watch with all your friends on a Saturday night. And by god he did exactly that. I remember as a kid and early teen my favorite movies to rent were horror and creature features, Friday the 13th, Children of the Corn and other movies based on Stephen King, Carnasaur (hell yeah bitches!), The Birds, Aliens, Arachnophobia, and of course the Baconfest Tremors. That was my bread and butter. People getting eaten by animals is just entertaining. I really can't explain it. It just is. I still like watching all the SyFy original movies in the genre. Just watched Lake Placid 3 the other night, absolutely terrible yes, but still entertaining enough. Now we have Piranha 3D which stays true to all the cliche's of the creature feature genre with great talent behind and in front of the camera. What does that make? A bloody fun ride that's what.

The film starts out with a fantastic cameo by Richard Dreyfus playing the same role he did in Jaws. Minding his own business and fishing out in the middle of the lake a tremor occurs and breaks open a gap at the bottom of the lake. What comes out of that gap you ask? Sharks? No. Octopuses? No. Sharktopuses? No. Piranhas, and lot's of them. You can guess what happens to our old fisherman. It rhymes with "sweeten arrive". We are then introduced to our main characters, Elisabeth Shue as the tough Sheriff of the Lake Town Julie Forester, her son Jake the 17 year old kid trying to get the girl Kelly who has the overbearing jock boyfriend, and Jerry O'Connell as the Girls Gone Wild inspired entrepreneur Derrick Jones of Wild Wild Girls along with his posse of scantily clad ladies. We see that it's spring break in our little lake side town and shit is going crazy, lots of college kids here to party. The lake is littered with boats as it looks like one of those floating trash islands but only with 100,000 thousand dollar speed boats and bikinis. Sheriff Julie Forester tells her son Jake to stay away from the festivities as he must baby sit his two cute as a button precocious kid siblings all weekend because she'll be busy patrolling the college kids. Jake then encounters Jerry O'Connel and his ladies and is enlisted to be a location scout for his Wild Wild Girls movie. Guess what he chooses to do... Then of course the shit starts to hit the fan. And by shit I mean lots of Piranhas and lots of eating.

Sound familiar? Yeah of course, it's Jaws, but in a lake with Piranhas. The creature feature genre has tried and true elements that this film again adhere's to. Small town, big event, an over worried sheriff, teenagers who don't give a fuck, cute little kids, out of towner scientists, and something that wants to eat them all. These are just the basic ingredients. Sure all pizza's are essentially dough, sauce, cheese and toppings, but it's how you put them together and how you bake it is where the magic comes out. Here is where you have all those essential horror elements but constructed in a way that still keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time. You know the rules of the game, and this film delivers and then some. What takes this film above you're general creature features and made for SyFy movies is that you can see the love and work put into it, and the tone is spot on where everyone is having fun with the genre expectations.

The gore displayed on screen here ridiculous and gnarly. Viewer be seriously warned. Definitely NOT for the kids. Definitely NOT for the squeamish. The 3D is used well to display the schlock onscreen very similarly to My Bloody Valentine 3D. It's not trying to be an "immersing experience" to draw you into the story. It's exploitation through and throughout and having a blast with the medium.

It's a sad day in America when you see a rated R horror film today that does not have any nudity. The recent Friday the 13th remake had a decent amount which was one of the only good things going for it. This film more than makes up for all the wussy horror films of the past decade. There is an nude underwater ballet sequence between the gorgeous English model Kelly Brook and American adult film star Riley Steele that is well worth the price of admission for any male or lesbian or anyone who really just appreciates good underwater cinematography.

Really this is only enjoyable on a "brain turned off" level. The main problem here is that the best characters are not the main ones. We have the two most engaging characters of the overacted soft core porn director Jerry O'Connel and his mysterious lady played by Kelly Brooke, and then the wonderful cameo's by Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dreyfuss. Adam Scots character of Novak is a pretty cool guy as a seismologist who was definitely underused. His delivery throughout brought a good "matter of fact"ness to the entire film. Our three leads of Jack, his mother, and Kelly are pretty boring and one note. It would have been nice to see some more range and depth with them. The other main problem I had with the film was the ending. It really just pissed me off. I won't spoil it, but it pretty much just ends the movie at the exact moment after Plot Point Two. Plus the ending shot is in all the TV spots so you see it coming. Stupid Stupid Stupid.


By far the best thing about this movie is seeing Christopher Lloyd on the big screen. It's really physically impossible not to smile as he delivers his lines during his couple scenes in this film. He's like you're favorite Uncle who's full of crazy stories and is a blast to listen to. Though I wish he was in the film a little more it was just cool as hell seeing him as a raving scientist. (fun fact: they are going to re-release Back to the Future in theatres this October for its 25th Anniversary!)

If you like creature features this is a must see. If you can't deal with boat loads of gore take a rain check. It's a bloody fun ride from beginning to end with some definite flaws. Go with some buddies and drink some beers before you go and you'll have a wicked swell time.

Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World last night second last night in my double feature theatre viewing. The film is directed by Edgar Wright who you may know from directing two most rad British films Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz. This film stars the skinny Superbad kid, John McClanes daughter, Superman, the Home Alone kids brother, and Max Fischer. If you don't get all these references, congratulations you are not a total film nerd and have a life.

The film follows the titular character of Scott Pilgrim, 22 year old bass player of three piece rock band Sex Bob-omb. He's you're average slacker who's between jobs and between girlfriends living in the frozen tundra of Toronto Canada. The story kicks off as he falls for the girl of his dreams, who in fact is the girl of his dreams, Romona Flowers and must defeat her Seven Evil Exes. He does this and learns some stuff too along the way in this highly kinetic coming of age story.



This movie freaking rocked. Here is everything that is awesome about in no particular order.

The Characters: A lot of people criticize Michael Cera for playing the same character in ever film. He's a 22 year old skinny white kid from Canada. What more do you want? The next team member of The Expendables? No. For better or worst he is essentially the face of a generation of shy awkward nerds across this land. But as Scott Pilgrim he really isn't that character. On the surface he looks at sounds the same as ever but most importantly he's not the same on the inside, he's not shy around girls, is proactive and can rock. Scott's love interests are played quite well by Ellen Wong who plays his initial 17 year old girl friend Knives Chau and Mary Elisabeth Winstead as the girl of his dreams Ramona Flowers. Both do a really good job at two completely different female characters. A big highlight of the film is the fantastic supporting cast. Some of the shining stars are Jason Schwartszman as the delightfully smarmy Gideon Gordon Graves, Kieren Culkin as Scott's sardonic roommate Wallace Wells, Aubrey Plaza as the "girl with issues" Julie Powers, Alison Pill as the deadpan drummer of Sex Bob-omb Kim Pine, Brandon Routh as the vegan bassist Todd Ingram, and honestly I could list everyone else in this cast as they all did a rocking job.

The Story: What really made this film work was that It would still be fully entertaining and interesting to watch all these characters in this story without all the fights. The fights are just icing on the cake, very excellent funfetti icing. The core of the film is about a guy falling in love and taking over whatever obstacles outward and inward which involve defeating Ramona's seven evil Exes in your typical progression into the ultimate boss fight at the end. It's really one of the oldest stories in the book: Boy Meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy must do "x" to attain girl. But what makes Scott Pilgrim special is the video game presentation of it all with the spot on characterization of today's youth and culture.

The Writing: Insanely quotable.

The Fights: This was a huge step in the right direction for fights on film. Some of the most pure fun fight scenes to watch in any film. They were vivid, excellently choreographed, and most importantly inventive. Too often you see the same old stuff over and over again, for a recent example The Expendables. Yes, they were well done and fun to watch. But really, how many different ways can you punch a dude. Well Dan you can punch a dude that's on fire. Yeah but what I'm trying to say is this film cranked it up to a level not scene before using heavy video game influences infused throughout. It reminds me of this Jim Jarmusch quote (well it's kinda a quote within a quote):

"...don’t bother concealing your thievery—celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from—it’s where you take them to.”"

This really applies to everything about this film. It's a celebration of video games and garage band rock and roll. The other great thing about the fights in this film is that they are all different. It's similar to Bruce Lee's Game of Death and Tony Jaa's Tom Yung Goong where each of the hero's opponents throughout the film fight in a different style of martial arts. Here we have the Seven Evil Exes who are all have their different strengths and weaknesses. One of the most inventive fights is when Scott must defeat Ramona's only woman Ex. As like most guys he does not feel comfortable fighting a girl thus the fight that ensues is something truly original.





The Music: The soundtrack of both diegetic and non-diegetic songs are fantastic. What has the most resonance in my head and was the most enthralling to listen to was the songs played by Scott Pilgrim's band Sex Bob-omb. It was really cool and well done how the band performing was such an integral part of the story and Scott's development. The band even "battles" one of Ramona's Exes with its sound (you'll see) which was radtastic. Definitely see the film in a theatre with a good sound system. I didn't even find this out until after I saw the film but Beck wrote all the songs for Sex Bob-omb, so it's really no wonder why they are so awesome.

The Cinematography: Excellent job by Director of Photography Bill Pope who's known for such big films as The Matrix, Spider Man 2 and Team America: World Police. The world created for this film visually is really quite stunning.

The Editing: The transitions in this film are some of the best I've seen in any film. They move the film along at a really great pace. Some of the cuts were very jarring and totally disoriented me in time and space of the film, in a good way though as they drew me more into the world of the film.

The Directing: Simply put, Edgar Wright is the man. I have not read the graphic novel's by Bryan Lee O'Malley so cannot say if he did a good job adapting them or not. Nevertheless on a purely cinematic level this film worked on hyperdrive on all levels as described above. An amazing job from everyone on the film. High Fives to all.



I had an awesome time watching the film and am now very interested in checking out the graphic novels. If you have ever been in love, played video games, or like to rock and roll you'll love this film. This is a must see. It's amazing and by far my favorite film of the year.

Review: The Expendables

Went and saw the Macho-fest film The Expendables last night in a packed theatre. There were some ladies near me that had some of the worst smelling perfume I have ever encountered. It thought I was being poisoned. Terrible. Anyway, the action film is directed by John Rambo and stars Rocky Balboa, Ivan Drago, the Transporter, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Not Jackie Chan. There are also some good cameos by John McClane and John Kimble.

The story follows Stallone and his team as they get hired by Bruce Willis to go to the South American Island of Velena (don't bother googling that because the place is fictitious) to overthrow a dictator and of course kill a lot of dudes and blow shit up.



First and foremost let me just say Sylvester Stallone is my favorite of the 80's action stars. Rambo, hell yeah. Cliffhanger, awesome. Cobra, bad ass. Then there is the The Rocky series. I dedicated a good portion of my thesis film to it including driving to Philadelphia from Rochester to film for it. Rocky is the freaking bees knees. These past few years have been pretty awesome for movies with new installments of Rocky and Rambo. Both of which I really enjoyed as they were both great bookends for their respective series. Now we have The Expendables where Stallone plays an all new character in similar situations.

Sure nothing is really new or fresh about The Expendables but that's not what this movie is about. It's about seeing our favorite action stars together for the first time kicking ass, kicking each-others asses, and taking names. This movie does exactly that. A total throwback to the simplicity of the action movies of yesteryear where we have a problem and a bad ass dude goes and solves it. In this case we have a bunch of bad ass dudes that go solve it. There a some lapses in logic but whatever. Everyone on the film looks like they had a blast making it as it comes through in the final film.

There are some really nice stunts and fight sequences in this film. The fights are freaking brutal. They did a really nice job mixing in the different fighting styles of everyone into a mash up mix track of fighting mayhem with bone crunches as beats and gun shots as notes. It fully satisfies the modern American blood lust syndrome. Again with way too many films in this day and age this movie suffers from too much editing during the fight sequences. I know these dudes are old, but c'mon, stop cutting so much, its annoying.



My biggest gripe about this film is the use of CG Blood effects. I could rant on and on about this but I'll hold back and make this simple point. Unless your film is premiering on YouTube or Vimeo put some cash into your effects budget and use some god damn squibs. Dammit.

Overall it's really a joy to see all these guys kicking ass on the big screen in one movie. It's an entertaining genre film full of nostalgia and heavy hitting fights. This film is really the cinematic equivilant to a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger; you've eaten one before, it's nothing new or revolutionary to the burger world, but it's cooked just right, and the other ingrediants are pretty damn tasty, and it hits the hunger spot damn well. If you like Stallone or any of the other stars go see this film. If you like fighting go see this movie. If you like explosions go see this movie. If you abhor violence don't see this movie.

Animation Block Party

I went to NYC last weekend and checked out the Animation Block Party Saturday night at the beautiful Brooklyn Academy of Music building. It was pretty wicked fun.

Here are my two favorite films screened:

Milk Nasty from TJ Fuller on Vimeo.

Review: Inception

Saw that little flick Inception a few weeks back when I was in Los Angeles during my sabbatical.

The film is directed by Christopher Nolan whom many people forget is a Redcoat. Just sayin. It stars one of the many people who died in The Departed, an annoying pregnant teenager, that lady who won the oscar for best Actress and everyone was like "who the fuck is that?" but then she's been in some movies since so people are like "oh yeah, it's that girl, I don't know what her name is, but I think it's that girl", the kid from the third best kids baseball movie of the early 90's (1.The Sandlot, 2.Rookie of the Year), and let us not forget Bronson.

The story follows a dude who goes into other dudes dreams to steal ideas. But then some rich dude wants him and his co-workers to go into some dudes brain to implant an idea. But in order to do that they have to go into dreams inside of dreams, then inside other ones and his ex-wife haunts him through these..... and bullets and explosions of course!!!!!


I saw the 11pm screening on Friday after five consecutive 13 hour shoot days. To say the least I was psychically, mentally and emotionally drained. Barely keeping awake in the waiting line outside the theatre I did not know if I could make it through the entire film. I did. I think.

Initial thoughts after seeing it; I definitely had a good friggin time. Seeing it in IMAX was the way to go. It looked stunning. And the sound, whoah! Punch you in the face. There was applause after a particular scene and at the end of the film, I joined in as I was pretty darn entertained. Perplexed to exactly what the fuck I just saw, but still... entertained.

The scene in particular that received the rousing applause was the hallway fight scene between Joseph Gordon-Levitt and some bad dream security dude. It----was----bad-------asssss. The whole time watching it I was like "wuuuu theeee fuuuuuk!?" and I could feel the same energy from everyone else around me in the theatre without looking around to see their faces. Fantastic movie moment that put a nice big smile on my face afterwards.



Another high point of the film is the gorgeous cinematography by Wally Pfister. There is a great variety, vibrancy, color, and texture used throughout with the lighting that makes every scene a pleasure to watch no matter what's happening. The slow motion shots are wicked and supremely done.

I heard some people saying this is the greatest film ever made and that people won't even make films anymore because this was so good. That is stupid. Take The Dark Night out of your DVD player and update your Netflix Que.

The world created for this film is pretty darn interesting. Being able to go into other peoples dreams is a pretty cool concept. And the way it is presented in this film in a Bond/Bank Robber kinda way is also pretty cool. You get certain movie conventions with a nice fresh added twist that gives you a new dynamic that is fully satisfying to watch.

The problem is a lot of people critical of the film are taking it too seriously and trying to make sense of the world created for the film. The film takes itself very seriously, so why not us? Well... the fact is dreams don't make much sense. It's not an exact science as no one really understands what they are, how they happen, why they happen, and how they work to this day. Thus the physics and realities of how the characters perform what they do in the film don't make much sense, thus trying to make sense of non-sense is utter non-sense really. A lot of gripes can be made about the characters being thin and only there as plot devices and the story being too complicated but the overriding feeling should be "alright, just go with it!". Then you'll be fine. Watch it. Have fun. Repeat if necessary.

A little gripe I have with a lot of movies which this film suffered to as well was the trailers showing all the key scenes in the film. C'mon just stop that. It's annoying and lame.


I recommend this for anyone who enjoys Nolan's previous work, action movies, and films about dreams. Sure it ain't perfect, but nothing is. It still has quite a lot of cool shit going for it cinematically where it's well worth checking out on the big screen, IMAX it if you can.

Apparently I still have videos on YouTube

So I was on the internets..... again, I know, I know. But I found I had some of my freshman work up on my YouTube account I barely use as Vimeo and I've been going steady ever since we met.

Anywho, all of my YouTube videos had their audio stripped from them because of copyright-shmopyright music claims. As I was feeling around the new YouTube features for the first time I found they had this nifty little thinger called AudioSwap where it samples the music from some another sight and it's totally legit. So I put some new tracks some of my old projects.

RIP Delta Boy Smooth

I was making my new resume and searchin around the internets today and found this music video I worked on last summer back in the Roc, then saw that apparently the lead guy Delta Boy Smooth is now dead. He was a cool dude, it was a janky shoot but most of us had a fun time even when the cops came.

Review: Robin Hood

Went and saw Ridley Scott's latest film Robin Hood at a second rate theatre in Pasadena the other night.

The film takes on the origin story of Robin Hood. We start out in France as some English dudes attack some French dudes as Robin and his band of bros decide to ditch Croissant land to go back to Fish and Chips land. On the way back Robin comes across this dying English guy who's last wish is for him to return his sword to his father in Nottingham England. This sets off the "story" of what all happens next.




There is a great mystery to this film. It is loaded with talent on both sides of the camera yet the final product is anything but mediocre. Acting wise we have Oscar winners Russel Crow, Cate Blanchett, and William Hurt. And of course behind the camera we have the illustrious Ridley Scott known for some of the best films made within the past 30 years such as Alien, Blade Runner and Black Hawk Down. Plus you have the iconic Robin Hood story to go from with a 200 million dollar budget. But somewhere along the lines they forgot to get that important little thing called a good script.

The most crucial misstep in the whole picture is the weak story. It's a epic battle film that is simply not compelling and lacks any tension. It is really boggling how this film was actually made. All of the conflicts are easily evaded throughout the film. Not in a cool, "oh i just beat up 30 dudes with swords and i barely broke a sweat, man was that easy", more in a "oh all we had to do was fire some arrows at them from behind a tree, that only took 4 seconds of screen time, that was pretty easy" kinda way. Tension is what makes battles work, are they going to succeed? aren't they? No joke Twilight Eclipse had more tension than this. There seems to be a thread of "rising action" through act II but it barely gets anywhere and it just feels like you are strolling through the park as you watch this film. This fact was most prevalent during the "climactic" battle scene on the sea shore as French ship came to invade. As soon as we saw there was a huge cliff next to the shore where the English archers took their positions anyone who took Warfare 101 knew the battle was won easy as cake. Even without that knowledge the battle was poorly staged and lacked any drama on if Robin and his Englishmen were going to win or not. Bullocks!

The other main problem with the film is the pussy cop out PG-13 battles. This is not Chronicles of Narnia. When someone gets a sword in the face or shot with an arrow they don't just fall down. There is some damn blood. I'm not saying that it should be super gory Japanese Machine Girl style but there should be a level of reality presented in the damage done by these medieval weapons. The key part in showing this is to increase the tension and stakes during the battle as the audience see's "oh wow, this is some serious shit, i hope our hero Robin Hood doesn't get a sword in the face". Thus we connect more with our protagonist and are involved in the heat of the moment that is the battle scene.

Another major problem I thought was the casting of Russel Crowe. At 45 years old it's a bit of a stretch to be at the "beginning" of the Robin Hood mythology. I think the film would have had a great breath of fresh air and energy if they casted someone half his age. Instead we get a barely comprehensible Crowe who grumbles a one note performance through a non existent story arc for the "hero".


I'm even a little pissed I paid 3 dollars to go see this. Not even worth a DVD rental unless you are in love with Russel Crowe or have a hankering for bloodless battle scenes. Just watch Ridley Scott's Gladiator again or his far underrated 2005 film Kingdom of Heaven and make sure it's the extended edition.

Review: Toy Story 3

I saw Toy Story 3 last week. Like you've probably heard from everyone else who has seen it and other reviews, it's fantastic.

If you havn't seen it already. Get off the computer, and go.



What really surprised me about this movie was how intense it got during the climax. I was seriously scared for the main characters more than I can remember for any other movie in recent history live action and animation. A truly memorable sequence, to cap off a truly great film.

I'll keep it short as mostly everything has already been said about it. Recommended for anyone with a beating heart.

**Also seeing it in 3D is not necessary at all, especially if you already wear glasses and it just becomes wicked uncomfortable to wear both at the same time.

Review: The A-Team

Went and saw the newest TV Show to movie adaptation this past weekend, The A-Team. Directed by Joe Carnahan of Narc and Smokin Aces fame the film follows the exploits of an Army Rangers Alpha Team consisting of Liam "Qui-Gon Jinn" Neeson as John "Hannibal" Smith, Bradley "The Hangover" Cooper as Templeton "Faceman" Peck, Sharlto "District 9" Copley as James "Howling Mad" Murdock and MMA fighter Quinton "Rampage" Jackson as Bosco B.A. Barucus. The best thing is the film has more explosions than quotation marks.



The film begins with an opening sequence that brings the team together for the first time. We are then thrust years later into the Iraq War as the American troops are in the last days of withdrawal from the country. After one last Iraq mission our guys get set up for a crime they didn't commit and end up stripped of their ranking and thrown into separate jails. Now they gotta break out, clear their innocence, uncover the truth and take down the bad guys. There is no option B.

First and foremost let me just say this was the funnest time I've had at the movies this year by far. This film was an absolute blast from beginning to end. Pure summer entertainment.

One of the great things about the film is it's level of believable ridiculousness within the action scenes. The shit that goes down in the movie is nuts. The film takes suspension of disbelief and rides the line the entire time. It's just real enough where in the moment you don't second guess it at all.... slowing down a falling tank by shooting the cannon down towards the ground...sure why not, totally could work. Doing this really creates some original and amazing sequences that are really fun and purely cinematic to watch.

The other great thing about the film is the performances across the board especially by Liam, Bradley, Sharlto and Rampage. Their chemistry and individual character traits are really entertaining to watch the whole time.

I don't have any complaints. The film knew what it was and delivered.



I really recommend this movie to everyone. An incredibly fun ride from start to finish The A-Team is the most entertaining film I've seen this year.